Matt Van  Brink, composer, pianist, accordionist

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Bobby No Dairy (2009)


MP3 Music and lyrics by Matt Van Brink from Look Before You Eat

LYRICS

(MARY frantically lays out the family’s lunches, cutting, slicing, spreading, etc.)

MARY:

    BOBBIE, NO DAIRY
    BUT TOFU? TOO SCARY
    A PICKLE, IF CUT INTO THIRDS
    THIS PART'S AMAZIN'
    IF SHE FINDS A RAISIN
    SHE'LL GIVE THE WHOLE THING TO THE BIRDS
    WHO HATES RAISINS?
    I MEAN, RAISINS???
    NATURE’S CANDY
    AND SHE LIKES CANDY!
CHARLIE THE DOG: Woof!

MARY:

    AND WAFFLES FOR THE DOG!
MARY (cont’d): Rex, Rex… Why did I marry that guy? I didn’t know that I’d have to make lunch for him every day. He’s such a fussy eater.

MARY (cont’d):

    REX IS A VEGGIE
    BUT SEEDS MAKE HIM EDGY
    ZUCHINI? HE WON'T EAT AT ALL
    EGGPLANT? FORGET IT.
    PICKY? YOU SAID IT!
    CARROTS? AS LONG AS THEY'RE SMALL
    BABY CARROTS?
    THEY'RE JUST CARROTS!
    THEY'RE MADE FROM THE BIG ONES
    HE HATES THE BIG ONES!
CHARLIE THE DOG: Woof!

MARY:

    AND TRUFFLES FOR THE DOG!
MARY (cont’d): Charlie has the most refined tastes of any of us. But me, I just keep it simple. I don't have time to be complicated.

MARY (cont’d):

    MARY, I'M EASY
    SIMPLE AND BREEZY
    COULD EAT IT RIGHT OUT OF THE CAN
    NO VERMICELLI,
    JUST P.B. AND JELLY
    SKIPPY, OR ELSE PETER PAN
    JUST NOT CRUNCHY!
    I HATE CRUNCY!
    DISGUSTING CRUNCHY,
    CRUNCHY TEXTURE!
CHARLIE THE DOG: Woof!

MARY:

    AND NOW TO WALK THE DOG!
(MARY runs offstage with a leash, CHARLIE happily following her.)

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