Matt Van  Brink, composer, pianist, accordionist

Boogers and Onions (2010)


MP3 Book, Music and Lyrics by Matt Van Brink from Get Real

TOM’S MOM: Tom, phone again.
TOM: Hello?
MUFFY: Hi, Tom!
TOM: Elise?
MUFFY: Yes, What are you doing?
TOM: You know, homework, still. Did you… forget something?
MUFFY: Yes! I forgot to tell you that…
MURPHY (prompting Muffy):

    I DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU
MUFFY (to Tom):
    I DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU
MURPHY:
    AND YOU SMELL LIKE ONIONS
MUFFY:
    AND YOU SMELL LIKE ONIONS
MURPHY:
    I'VE SEEN YOU EAT YOUR BOOGERS
MUFFY:
    I'VE SEEN YOU EAT YOUR BOOGERS
TOM: What?
MUFFY:
    AND YOU SMELL LIKE ONIONS.
    OH YEAH!
TOM:Uh … are you, like …
MUFFY: Yeah, uh…
MURPHY:
    DO YOU THINK YOU'RE REALLY SMART?
MUFFY:
    DO YOU THINK YOU'RE REALLY SMART?
MURPHY:
    DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?
MUFFY:
    DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?
MURPHY:
    DO YOU LIKE TALKING TO YOURSELF?
MUFFY:
    DO YOU LIKE TALKING TO YOURSELF?
TOM: Ahh...
MUFFY:
    DO YOU THINK YOU'RE REALLY SMART?
    OH YEAH.
TOM (to Pirate): It's Murphy & Muffy. (to phone) Uh, yeah, well. It's okay. I can think of worse people to talk to.
MUFFY: Uh … like … who?
TOM:
    LIKE MURPHY AND MUFFY
MUFFY:
    LIKE MURPHY AND MUFFY?
TOM:
    THEY'RE SO ANNOYING
MUFFY:
    YEAH THEY'RE ANNOYING…
TOM:
    THEY'RE JUST, LIKE, HUFFY AND PUFFY
MUFFY:
    THEY'RE JUST HUFFY AND PUFFY?
TOM:
    THEY'RE SO ANNOYING
    OH YEAH.
MUFFY: Uh...
TOM: Tell Murphy I say hello.
MUFFY: Okay, I … wait!
TOM hangs up.
PIRATE: Give her a call, laddie.
TOM dials Elise
ELISE: Hello?
TOM: Hi, Elise. It's good to hear your real voice.
ELISE: Thanks?
TOM: Listen, I think I have an idea for two new characters for your safari play…
PIRATE: Smart move!

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